Hey there! If you’re curious about therapy or just exploring new ways to understand yourself, you might have stumbled upon something called Internal Family Systems, or IFS for short. It might sound a bit technical, but stick with me—it's actually pretty fascinating and super relatable once you get the hang of it. So, What Is IFS Anyway? IFS is a type of therapy that helps you understand and manage the different parts of yourself. Yes, you read that right—parts. You know how sometimes you feel like one part of you wants to do something, but another part is like, "Nope, not today!"? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, and it’s based on the idea that we all have these different “parts” inside us that act like a little internal family. These parts have their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. And just like a real family, sometimes they get along great, and other times… well, not so much. Meet Your Internal Family In IFS, these parts are generally divided into three categories: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters. Let’s break those down:
Managers: These parts are like the bosses in your internal family. They try to keep you safe and in control, often by avoiding situations that could lead to pain or discomfort. Think of that voice in your head that tells you to plan everything out, work hard, or avoid risks.
Exiles: These are the parts of you that hold onto pain, shame, or trauma. They’re like the hurt children in your internal family, and because they carry so much emotional baggage, your Managers work overtime to keep them hidden away.
Firefighters: put out fires and when your Exiles do manage to break free and overwhelm you with emotions, your Firefighters jump in to help you escape the pain—sometimes in not-so-healthy ways. This could look like overeating, drinking, zoning out in front of the TV, or any other behavior that helps you avoid feeling the tough stuff.
Your True Self: is the actual Captain of the Ship, but usually the managers have taken over and keep the captains hands off the steering wheel. IFS talks about the Self or True Self. The Self is the core of who you are—it’s calm, compassionate, and wise. When you’re in your Self, you’re able to lead your internal family with understanding and kindness, rather than letting one part take over and run the show. The goal of IFS therapy is to help you connect with your Self and get to know your parts. Once you can do that, you can start healing the parts that are in pain and bring more balance to your internal world.
How Does IFS Work in Therapy? In a therapy session, your therapist might guide you to focus on a particular part that’s been causing some disturbances. For example, if you’re feeling really anxious, they might help you tune in to the anxious part and have a conversation with it. The idea is to listen to what that part is trying to tell you—usually, it’s trying to protect you in some way, even if how its helping is no longer useful and outdated. By understanding these parts and giving them a voice, you can start to heal old wounds, change unhelpful patterns, and live more from your Self. It’s like being the captain of your own ship, steering through life’s challenges with all hands on deck, working together.
Wrapping It Up So, that’s IFS in a nutshell! It’s all about getting to know the different parts of yourself, healing the ones that are hurting, and letting your true Self take the lead. Whether you’re thinking about trying IFS therapy or just want to learn more about how you tick, IFS offers a really unique and compassionate way to understand yourself better. If you have any questions or want to share your thoughts, feel free to drop a comment below. I’m all ears!
Comments